Watch Your Thoughts Christians

My theory, “most Christians will end up in hell.”

Bold statement, huh. Believe me, I wrote this for myself. It’s my commonthought that I need to make uncommon. It’s just hard to let go of a grudge. I’m tryin’ though. Only God can help me.
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Which Neighbor Is Going To Heaven? The Nice One or The Bad One?

K. Picture two neighbors ready to go into the pearly gates of heaven. God comes out and tells both of them to enter heaven holding hands. One neighbor extends his hand to hold the other’s.

The other neighbor goes to God and tells him that the other person doesn’t deserve to go to heaven. God enthused, asks why.

“That person was my neighbor. He lived next to me for 6 years. I saw him get divorced because he cheated on his wife. It was a horrible thing but only 2 months later he had another woman sleeping with him at his house. Call it none of my business what they did, but as a requisite to get into heaven, I believe that’s adultery. Also, I know for a fact that he drinks alcohol, perhaps as I leisure, but drinks, and there was a rumor that he did illegal drugs too. And he has never gone to church (not regularly), let alone tried to keep your ten commandments.”

God seemed interested in her observations. “Go on.”

“I saw this man’s life, and compared to me, he has not worked as hard to get here as I have. I’ve kept the commandments and I enjoyed helping others. It gave me a mutual satisfaction. But I don’t need to brag, you know and understand my heart and my thoughts. You know that I’ve worked hard, and with all due respect, I deserve this. But if someone would have told me that I didn’t need to work so hard, I probably wouldn’t have.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have been as nice as I was. The whole “nice guys finish last” ordeal, well, I’m a girl, but I was nice and I finished last too. On the other hand, my neighbor wasn’t as nice. Actually, he did everything wrong and always got rewarded for it. He cheated on his wife–numerous times–and didn’t fight to take the children. For most people that would be devastating, and I’m sure it was. But she allowed him to see the children whenever he wanted. Ok. Great. Well, he saw the children once a month, if that, and took the children out to Chuck E. Cheese, bought them toys, shoes, clothes, and took them home. That whole “waiting to see them for a whole month or two” lasted 1/2 to 1-1/2 hours tops, and that was his choice. He apparently “got tired of keeping them.” [Some Dad]. But really, I’d hear the children talk about how wonderful of a dad they had because he takes them to Chuck E. Cheese, buys them stuff, etc. Then I’d see the mother struggling to raise these children (4 kids, by the way) and there’s little to no appreciation for what she’s doing from the children or the ex-husband (my neighbor). She’d be home all week long tending to the children’s needs (without any time to herself), and he’d be out with his new girlfriend doing whatever he wants. He has 4 children, but wasn’t ever responsible for their well-being, unless Chuck E. Cheese counts. He was, excuse me for saying this, but he was an…asshole. But to his children’s eyes, he was the greatest daddy. He was never a good dad to them; Chuck E. Cheese made him the greatest. And while the mother of the children spent endless days and nights making sure the children were fed, bathed, and clothed, the children complained that she never bought them anything. I should be holding his ex-wife’s hand walking into heaven instead of this man. Didn’t you make a fiery lake of fire for people like him?”

“I made a lake of fire, yes, but not for him.” God answered.

“Then for who? He definitely doesn’t deserve heaven. You want more proof. K, let me spell it out. He was married twice. He has 5 children, which he cares for none, except to make sure he’s the coolest dad ever by taking them out–one from one marriage, 4 from the next. Now he has a girlfriend. He can go out whenever he wants with her. Morning, day, evening. ‘Wanna go out, hun? Sure.’ Give him more time on earth and he’ll probably impregnate her too, giving him 6 or more children, which he’ll probably care for…none. He likes them young too, like 14, 15, 16 years of age, which by the way is considered a felony in the United States. He’s about 30 now, and he’s never gotten caught. Lucky? Hmm.”

The neighbor simply grins gently, as to portray some innocence.

“Meanwhile, his second wife, trying to raise her four children attempts to have a relationship with another man. Decent man he was. But the problem is that there never seemed to be any time for them to go out. They either always had to take the children with them, or needed to find a babysitter. How tough that was. It was either expensive, or no one would take them. So she mostly stayed home. She tried everything to make sure her relationship worked out, but it was just too difficult. And he sacrificed a lot to stay with her. They both were on on teeter-totter of depression because they missed each other and loved each other very much, yet couldn’t completely be with each other. Why aren’t I holding her hand instead of his?”

God steps back, sits on his chair and ponders.

“You have some interesting points. It seems like he did a lot of wrong, yet never got any punishment to accompany the wrong-doings. He must have been a horrid neighbor, and probably an interesting one to observe; you seem to know a lot about him and his family…”

Quickly interrupting, “So you agree that he needs punishment? In the Bible, you stated that there are roads that seem straight, but their end is a road of death. I believe that applies here.”

God responding, “You know my Bible fairly well, Proverbs 16:25. There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Good. So you do understand that I sent my son to die for all whosoever believed in him, right? Did you read the story of the good samaritan?”

“Yeah, it’s one of the best parables in the Bible. The wise man asks Jesus how to get to heaven, then Jesus says to love your neighbor. But this is different. I witnessed the evil in this person. Don’t you punish sin?”

“Did you read the story of the rich ruler? He asked the same question.”

“Yeah I read it. But I don’t understand how this applies. That guy was rich and went home sad ’cause he didn’t want to leave his riches to the poor.”

“Good you read it. Parables are interesting because there is so much more than is read. Let me make it simple for you. Let’s say you’re the rich person and he’s the poor person. If it was monetary, would you give it to him?”

“I’d give him all my money if I needed to,” said the neighbor.

“Ok, but suppose we weren’t talking about money. What if you were rich in pride. What if I asked you to hold his hand and walk into heaven together, and live next to each other as neighbors for eternity?”

“Are you kidding?”

“No.” God replied.

“Absolutely not! That wouldn’t be heaven. That’d be torture. Do you realize what you’d be doing to me? God, you’d be hurting me.”

“On the contrary. You’d be hurting yourself. For not letting go of your grudge against your neighbor, you’re hurting your future in heaven. Do you really want that?”

“I’d rather go to hell than be with that asshole!”

“Thou sayest. I’m sorry you feel that way.” and God condemmed.

Luke 18:24,25.

Jesus looked at her and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!
Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man or woman to enter the kingdom of God.”

2 Points

When someone is constantly in a person’s eye (or the public’s eye) in the beginning there is a lot to love about the person. This person may look wonderful, untouchable, glamorous, important, intelligent, etc.–however, once we learn enough about the person, they become seemingly less important. This is the wonderful world of the rich and famous. But bringing this concept close to home, that’s exactly what happens with the loved ones we have around us–ie. our husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends, partners, companions, etc.

In the beginning (sounds like Moses in Genesis) everything is wonderful. Beautifully, simply, wonderful. The love is strongest, each person craves the attention of the other. It’s so strong that all you can think of all day wanting to be with that person.

“That’s why they call it puppy love…” (I was thinkin’ of the song, sorry)

But following the pattern of a “FAD” (described above [something that surrounds our life, 'cause we WANT IT, but only for a short period of time]) that important person in our life begins to take less importance in our life. Don’t confuse that last sentence with “they become less important to us.”

It’s not the person. I bet you that how we feel about the person doesn’t change, but the priority they take in our life does change. It’s simply taking the main priority, stabilizing it in our life, and moving to the next priority. The first priority does not become less important, it’s simply stabilized; other things need to get done.

It’s a difficult concept to swallow, but I’m trying to explain it as easy as I can.

You see, this goes with getting a balance in our lives. It’s a natural process. This can lead to wanting to build new relationships. That’s a good thing (some spouses might not like this, but this is where the trust comes in, remember those damn vows you made?) Relationships like friends and acquiantances begin to be seeked. Again this is natural.

However, trust and respecting that trust are very important. Another key point here is that the first priority should not be forgotten or downsized. These two points are essential for a healthy relationship. I personally believe that this is probably the #2 reason people cheat on their spouse and partner (#1 being lack of communication).

CORRECTION:
I think the #1 reason for cheating is being unhappy with the current relationship. One person wants an adventure or wants to break their routine habits. Wants something and maybe that will bring it. Usually their wrong, but it’s too late.

“Why Is Sleep So Important? I Wish I Didn’t Need It.”

I heard this question today. I laughed while someone was trying to explain the biological reasons why our body needs sleep. I thought to myself, “Wow, if someone really damns sleep that much, they must really be busy. Then I thought,

Why do we clutter our lives so much that we begin to hate the real beauty that life actually has given us? Sleep, love, dreams, laughter, relaxation.

Some people wish they could do everything and not have to sleep. That’s scary.

So my thoughts on this: If you want to live a hectic life with more problems than solutions, get real busy. You’ll begin to hate sleep. But having a good life requires a balance on all things in our life. This includes sleep, love, laughter. I couldn’t say it better than wise ol’ King Solomon, “There is a time and a season for everything…” Relax.

Stepdads Get The Shaft

Relationships suck. Really they do. It’s not to say that I don’t love my sweetheart, I do, with all my heart, but relationships suck. So what is a relationship anyway?

Let’s hit that damn dictionary. Relationship: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

Ok. That makes some sense; the concept of connection. K, next.

Relationship: the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other. Ok, this is the one that I thought about. Behavior and regard of two (or more) people, that’s what I thought of a relationship as being. Two people wanting to be not only be with each other, but regarding one another. That means that both have needs that need to be met, fulfilled, and admonished when things go astray.

But I kept reading the last definition, and this is the one that still boggles my freakin’ mind, and fucked up the idea of a relationship in my head.

Relationship: an emotional and sexual association between two people. Ok…I thought. Sounds reasonable (with caution in my voice). Then it gives the example she has a daughter from a previous relationship. Damn. Had to throw that one in there.

See, to me this means my girlfriend will always have a Relationshipwith her ex-husband. REGARDLESS. That is tough to swallow. I don’t like the guy, she don’t want him back, he treated her like shit, and (as if that’s enough) he still treats her like shit whenever they’re around each other. K.

K, I understand he’s the father of the children, blah, blah, but does that make someone a father? The ability to have children makes a person a father? No, that makes a person a child bearer. Like the salmon that fight and struggle to make it back to the place of birth only to fertilize some eggs and die. They die a true salmon (rather than the ones that die on my plate). That’s a child bearer, not a father.

But as the freakin’ dictionary states it: To father (verb): To make a woman pregnant. So whoopty-do, he’s a father and that makes me sick. It disturbs my thoughts about a lot of things.

I, for one, get bothered by the thought that another man before me has and always will have a relationship with the woman that I have a relationship with. It simply bothers the hell out of me. Not only does it bother me, I can’t do shit about it. And if I try to even fathom the idea of saying that this past relationship has to be disintegrated, I FEEL like I’m the one that is going to lose. I can hear this, “he IS the father of my children, so I can’t deprive the children of their father if he wants to be in their lives.” Ok, fine. He is the father. FINE. Maybe he should start acting like a fuckin’ father. His idea of fatherhood is taking his kids to Chuck E. Cheese. That’s great. Man, I’d love him forever if my daddy did that for me. I mean, come on. I don’t what kind of a person he is (an asshole), all I know is that he takes me to Chuck E. Cheese. I have a great daddy.

All the meantime, if I’m around the lil’ ones more than the “father” is, and I’m the one tryin’ to correct their mistakes and lead them to be good citizens, that makes me…the fuckin’ bad guy!!!!

I feel all step dads out there. It’s tough to, first of all, get over that obstacle. It’s going to be real hard for me. But, fuck, love is strong, and I love this girl. And getting past this obstacle is going to be really fuckin’ hard.

The funny thing is that I haven’t ever met the guy. I was hoping to go through a lifetime without having to. But as it goes, my wishes and dreams won’t matter ’cause as long as he’s the father of those children, I’m gonna have to run into him eventually. That’s one of my worst fears. I don’t know if it’s just me, but it feels like the day I do, I’m gonna break his jaw or something. Jailtime is the last thing I need, but really, some people really do deserve it.

I don’t feel like explaining what kind of a person he is, ’cause I don’t know. By simply observing his voice over the phone when he screams into phone like a chicken being chased by a hungry lil’ fox, he sounds like an annoying, loud, reasonless, selfish, son of a bitch who’s idea of fun is calling his ex-wife (blah, I hate that idea too, his ex-wife, sigh) and arguing.

I don’t know, this conversation is pissing my off. I’m done. Stepdads out there, I feel you, man, trust me, I feel you.

Someone Wanted Their Ass Kicked!

Some dude at the local Circle K wanted to fight me! I wanted to laugh at him! I don’t know who he was (mexican-lookin’, light skinned, scrawny bodied, meth driven, slick black hair wearing stupid ass. I was walking into Circle K, he was walking out, and I opened the door for him (Aww, how polite). He walked through it and pushed me. It was enough to make me lose my balance and touch the floor with my hands. Shocked, I stood up and I see this punk with his hands ready to box an overinflated punching clown. He said, “You look like a push over, lets fight.” I laughed. I thought he was joking. I simply walked around him and he swung at me. I ducked, and pushed this idiot. The clerk yelled and told the guy to get out of the store. He started walking away, didn’t stop saying things to me, and called me a push over, again.

I was mad. This begged the question, am I a push over? Simple answer. No. Easy to push while not paying attention to an idiot, maybe. But a push over? Ha.

Does Size Really Matter?

This is a common thought someone asked me about today. Some guys really want to know if it actually matters to women. I won’t lie, it’s crossed my mind before. Hey, I’m confident with what God gave me, but I guess others aren’t so confident. And it’s not to say that I have a big chunky one either, no, I said I’m confident with it.

First of all, we can’t change what we got (unless you got money to spend and have Dr. 90210 hook you up, but you’ll lose some feeling in it, so what’s the point in that?), so we gotta work with what we got. My girlfriend told me that to her it does matter, and I passed the test (heww!). And I believe that many women will probably say the same. They want to feel you (that’s the point, duh!), that requires that a man’s tool be the right size for the job. But if you lack in the size department, don’t lose hope. There are things men can do to make a woman beg for more.

1. You’re attached to your hips. So learn to move your hips. Take a salsa class or a merengue class and learn to get some rhythm in those hips.
2. She wants to feel you, so think about feeling her. Touch is important.
3. Being a minute man does not constitute feeling, that’s why women don’t like minute men. Work on this ’till you get to two minutes at least.
4. There’s sex and there’s love. Pick ‘em & mix ‘em. (It’s all about timing.)
• Sex concentrates on the physical act; the Dr. Feelgood part. It’s sweaty, hair’s everywhere, no time to think–just do (that’s why it’s fun)
• Love is spiritual. Two people share each other, there’s light touches, it’s gentle, it’s caressing (that’s why it’s romantic)
5. Be exotic about it, figure out new ways of having fun (it’s fun to experiment new positions)

In the end, if she says size matters, give her something else to think about. Get her mind off your package and just let her enjoy your fun size snack pack. (Kidding, come on!)

Is Loving Someone Too Much Bad?

I thought about this today. And, I guess, as I write this, this song called, “You can never ask too much of love” by Take 6 came to mind. But really, is it bad to love too much? I think it is. But it’s not that loving someone a lot is bad, but loving someone “too much” makes one think more about them than yourself. You want to be with that person more than doing what you need to do.

It technical terms, it’s called an addiction. The dictionary definition (I didn’t find it a good one) is the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity, in this case person. It happens in relationships a lot. Usher wrote a song about it, “You Got It Bad.” I guess it’s normal, but it does make one not function as if that love did not exist, or at least was present in moderation.

And I guess moderation is the key concept. Everything in moderation. Solomon said, “For everything there is a time and a season…”. We need balance in our life. Too much of anything really is harmful to ourselves, even love (if it gets to the point of not functioning properly).

So balance is key. How we find balance is the topic of our next discussion…(yeah, right. If I knew I’d be doing it! You figure it out. When you do, tell me! Peace.)

Good Bye Sunny

My brother called me yesterday with a slight squeek in his voice. I’d been around Salem doing my arrands before heading to work when my phone rang. “Hey Hamil, are you busy right now?” was the only clear sentence I heard before the squeeks dominated the following sentences. “Sunny is going to be put to sleep, my best buddy…are you busy? Can you come to the vet right now? Can you call mom, I can’t do it. Please call her…”

Sunny was my brother’s dog. His sister-in-law bought Sunny as a wedding gift four and a half years ago from a guy selling puppies from behind his truck. Among the dozen rot weiller puppies, she was the only golden retriever lookalike. Her other brothers were ugly little rots, but seeing that she was the different one in the crowd, Sunny was the ugly rot.

Sunny was taken home and giving to my brother with a red bow around her neck. Sunny would snuggle on his palm while she looked for warmth from his body. Her tiny body and big hazel eyes won everyone’s hearts the moment you saw them sparkle in the light. We all welcomed her into the family. She was the first dog in our family. No one ever wanted dogs. Excuses ranged from, “they’re dirty, they’re loud, they’re mean, they’ll turn on you one day, dogs are for hunting only…” and the list went on. My brother was excited to receive a dog as a gift. He dubbed her his best friend, Sunny.

As all puppy stories we hear fit Sunny as well; you see them as these cute, loving, mischievious, creatures that you have to adore with all your heart. And the story doesn’t change for Sunny. She was the typical puppy we all loved. But she liked to play rough. Sometimes too rough. Her idea of play was actually biting and seeing if you’d react to it. At first it was cute, then it got annoying. My brother took her to puppy school when she turned one to get the kinks out of her behavior. At first she was clumsy and shy. She practically did everything opposite of what was asked of her. She’d turn around facing her butt to the instructor, the instructor would yank on her choke chain, she’d get mad and show her teeth, they’d yank on her again, she’d yelp but still be mad. She passed her class, but barely. The instructor told my brother to continue the program so that she’ll get better. It was too expensive, so he declined.

A biting dog is a great watchdog, I’ve noticed. But we all wanted her to be a fun dog. So biting was not what we wanted from her. From there, her behavior got worse. The thoughts were that dogs were like that and the golden rule was, “if there’s food for Sunny, don’t get close.”

About three days ago, my brother was feeding Sunny, when Sunny snapped and bit my brother’s left hand. It felt that was too much turning on its owner like that. He took her to the vet expecting some other news. Finally the consensus was that Sunny was genetically wanting to be Alpha dominant, and no (inexpensive) treatment would help her. The vet warned my brother that the dog would not be wise to keep if they planned on having children. For a moment, silence. Children were definitely in their future plans and hearing this made them concerned. It was either euthanasia or placing children at risk.

I rushed over there as quickly as I could. Sunny had already been given a tranquilizer and already looked dead. The only assurance I had was her slow breathing and her warmth as I caressed her ear and eye lid. I was slowly whispering, “go to sleep Sunny Bono. You’ve been a good girl Sunny, go to sleep now. We’ll miss you.”

I Don’t Hate Money, I Hate Its Concept

I’m pissed today. And I don’t really know why. I think it’s because of money. I hate it, yet we need it for everything. If money weren’t an issue, there would be thousands of relationships restored. That’s the number one reason people split up. The love is there, but no, we are not financially compatible. We hear that a lot.

That’s really sad.

Money is not really the issue. If we think about it, it’s the greed that people place on material things based on everyone’s wants and needs. Take for example, water. We can all go to the river and get it FREE. However, for the sake of convenience someone says, “Hey, I’ll deliver it to you if you give me something in return. What do you say?” We agree so that we won’t have to go get it.” So then someone else invents something to make another convenience, and we exchange something for that convenience.

We created money for these exchanges, just to give something a value. Well, we all got greedy and overpriced all our crap. And these are things we need and want, so we slave ourselves to get the money to pay for these things. And the world says,”Ah, I get it.”

So now we work our asses off to make money. So let’s break it down, our rent costs $1,300, cell phone $100, car $200, food $250, utilities $300, gas $200, other bills $400. That’s $2,750. I only make $1,300 a month. Wow, I’m in deep shit. But somehow I seem to manage. I don’t know how, I just do. I guess money seems to get to me somehow. Chasing money is stupid. I need an effective way to make it. Somehow.

Destiny…Is It Real? Don’t ask me!

Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe that destiny defies our civil liberties of choice?

I was asked this yesterday.

“I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence.” I believe this, however, I did not originally create that line. I heard it somewhere; where I heard it is irrelevant, but what it means is sound in my mind. God takes no chance, but is a calculated God. Mathematician, one would say.

You see, I believe that God does not automatically know the future (as many may believe); he does not simply know what’s going to occur. I believe that God calculates what is to happen.

My backing: If God knew the future, then many would question (many do) why God tempted Adam and Eve, knowing that they were going to sin? Why would God give so much to Lucifer if he was only going to defy God and take 1/3 of the angels into corruption? If God knew the future, then he surely knew man would commit such evil when he destroyed them with rain water in the story of Noah! “I regret the day I created man” were the words written in the Bible I believe.

Now we need to understand how this works before you think I’m full of animal waste (shit). Imagine a mathematician. When this mathematician calculates an equation, sometimes there are various methods of calculating the answer. The mathematician has the choice of path to answer however he or she sees fit. The resulting truth is that regardless of the path that is taken, the answer is the same.

God is the author of the equation. We are the one’s who the equation is given to; we solve the equation. Whatever path we take in our lives (or whatever method we use to solve the equation) there will only be one unique answer.

This is what I see.

God has calculated every one of our lives. He knows where we began and where we are to end. The middle part is up to us; the way we live our lives is our decision. Our choices, good or bad, is irrelevant and will not deter God’s plan for us. God has calculated our deviance into the equation (A Calculated God). So there is no need to know the future, simply what is to happen.

You see, God gave us the ability to choose the way we live our lives. He did not stop us from doing whatever we wanted. He instructed us, insisting we choose a good path (notice I didn’t say the right path) for our lives. He gave us lessons on how to live, how to love, how to obey, how to live amongst ourselves, etc. He did warn us of the path we chose (he said some paths may seem straight, but their end is a path of death). But death is not the answer to the equation. I see it as the i when solving imaginary numbers [dealing with negative square roots] in Algebra 2 (remember algebra 2?). It’s only a stumble, but it will still reach a final answer.

In the end he gave us two end results: The Heavenly Gates of the new Jerusalem, or a nice coal-driven lake of fire (I added the nice coal part, heehee).

BUT, that’s not all folks.

Remember when he sent his son to die? He said he died for our sins. “…all of our regressions.” This is like the part that is overlooked even though many people talk about his death, yaddy, yadda.

So in reality, there is only one answer to the entire equation. The path we all take will not change God’s ultimate plan. The answer has always been set in stone, this is why even the Devil can’t change what is to happen. One unique answer.

Also, this explains (to me at least) how loving a God we have. He didn’t know Adam and Eve were going to sin. That hurt God. He didn’t know Lucifer would try to destroy God. And he really did feel sad and ashamed at how man was living when he had to destroy them with water (he even said he would never do that again and left a rainbow as our promise).

So do I believe in destiny? I believe there is only one destination that we will all end up in, just like death is inevitable for all of us. How we choose to get there, God gave us that choice. Appreciate it, we have a loving God.