I Am Patient…I Think?

A client of mine called me yesterday to tell me that he admired my work and enjoyed working with me. I was flattered.

He emphasized that I was a patient person.

Err. Great. Heehee.

I’ve been told that I am a patient person and I feel blessed and honored to be. But I believe it comes with a price. Patience is not acquired overnight or is a birthright. We all have to learn to be patient. The problem with patience is that it’s almost synonymous with waiting, and we all hate waiting. We want things now, no waiting, just give it to me.

Patience has to be worked on like everything else we want. It’s like money: we know it’s good for us, we want it, we never have enough of it, and the little we have is spent on the insignificant things that aren’t needed.

But acquiring patience has its rewards. Life becomes a bit simpler.

Whatever that means to you is what you want it to mean. Just know that if you always want things now, realize you won’t always get it and you’ll be more disappointed than if you simply waited.

The downside to being patient is that others can try to trample the patient person. Think about it: if someone is willing to wait, well I’m not, so move aside.

The majority of the population thinks this way. We’re (as a nation) self-centered. We think about ourselves. I didn’t say we think about ourselves first, we just think about ourselves. That’s why we buy gas juggling hummers and expensive diamonds. We don’t care how they came about, who died for it, or what happened. I want it, I’m gonna get it.

So if you want to be a better person, work on thinking for yourself and not what the nation thinks. And if you acquire patience, the nation will believe you are the next ghandi, ’cause they’ve yet to see it.

Today I Change My Life

Ok, so this is contradictory to the previous post. Sue me! I’m not perfect. I’m not close. But I realized that one of my biggest downfalls is time management. I had a friend and my girlfriend rip me a new one yesterday because I have poor time management skills. That’s a RED LIGHT. When one person tells you you have poor anything, it’s a warning. When two people tell you the same thing and point it out in different sections, that’s a caution. When this happens on the same day, that’s a RED Light. Something’s wrong with me. That needs to change.

So today, I’m taking a big leap forward. I’m scheduling my life better. I will not work on my evenings anymore; I will only finish the current projects that I have going right now that have already been scheduled. All other evenings are mine to use at my leisure.

That’s my first step. I’ll think of more later.

I tired of having to Change

I’m tired of being the one who has to change. For things to be “well”, it feels like I’m always the one who has to:

• Get used to it
• Get over it
• Not think about it
• Accept it
• Live with it
• Do it, no questions
• And this shit keeps going, but I’m already pissed about it

It’s extremely rare that someone says, “Hey, let’s work through it together.” I’m not saying it’s never happened, but I feel like I’m the one giving the helping hand more than anyone helping me. And they say giving is its own reward. I’ve yet to see it. It starts getting frustrating when I need help or at least need a shoulder to lean on, but all I see are hands asking (or telling) me that they’d like my shoulder for a bit.

I guess I’m just too nice, or too kind.

Here’s a scenario, A friend wants to jump off a bridge.
They tell you not to jump.

You say ok (It’s just flat out stupid).

However, your friend says that they’ve been jumping off the bridge for a long time and they’re just addicted to it. They know one day they’re bound to get hurt from it. They want to quit, but it’s hard.

K. They also say that when they call you it makes them not want to jump.

Wouldn’t it frustrate the hell out of you when you see you friend excited to see you. You know they have a sprained ankle from jumping, and the first thing they tell you is, “I only jumped twice today.” No hello, no nothing.

Would you be an optimist and say, “Say great!! Only twice. Getting better on cutting back.”

Or would you say, “Get away from me. That’s still twice too many!”

Then they get upset. They’re excuse, “Well, I called you and you didn’t answer. I wasn’t planning on jumping. But as I got to the bridge and you didn’t answer, I just jumped, off both bridges.”

Weird story huh. Well I’m kinda getting to my point. See the friend doesn’t stop smoking.. I mean jumping off the bridge. And even when they have called you, they still smo..jump. They tell you that being there helps them quit, but I guess I don’t see any progress. And there are excuses after excuses of why they can’t and why it’s hard.

The way I see it is that one of us has to change and I can’t make someone change. I can’t make my friend realize that what they’re doing is hurting us. It’s hurting us because I simply can’t accept it.

And I’m the type of person that usually thinks, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” So if she doesn’t stop, either I go, I leave and never turn back, or I join her. (Sounds like an oxymoron ultimatum).

But I wonder how they would feel if they realized they were the reason I began, huh, jumping off bridges? I dont’ know, I’m just tired of having to change to makes things all better. And if I could just ignore it, I would. But know that my friend continues to jump and that just simply concerns me. And I dont’ want to start smoking just to make her happy.

Relationships Suck

Why were we made social creatures? I know sometimes it’s nice to be alone and sometimes it’s nice to have company. But when the company we seek usually cannot fit our schedule, there are conflict of interests. That person cannot be with us because their Do-To overlap the other’s freetime list and vice versa.

I’ve noticed that a lot of couples have this kind of lifestyle where one person works during the day, comes home toward the evening to simply wake the other up, they get dressed and get ready to go to work. Can you relate? I guess my question is where do these couples create a strong friendship and bond with each other? It’s almost as if they don’t. Or maybe they established the relationship a long time ago while courting and now they’re simply bodies that live underneath the same roof.

Can anyone relate to this?

I’m sure I’m not the only one. I’ve noticed this in my relationship (man, I’m gonna get hung on this one). While I work, my angel sleeps. While I sleep, my angel works. In between…well there’s hardly anything in between. So in order for the relationship to stay healthy, both parties have to do something to keep the relationship strong.

I know that whenever I have a chance to be with my Angel, I seize it. I do whatever I need to do to schedule my life around her freetime (believe me, that’s a lot harder to do than one may think). I try to see her as much as I can while she’s up. I enjoy laughing and joking together. We really have a blast together. However, it’s been getting harder and harder to do the more and more I become occupied.

NOW THIS IS ME BITCHING
But I’ve come to realize that if it’s not me having to “be there” or “making the time” I wouldn’t see her at all. Sure I’m busy, and I’m sure she’s busy too. But why is it that I have to go see her? Why can’t she see me? Why can’t she make time to come over and see me? Even for a little bit. I’m tired of having to be the glue to OUR relationship. I’m just tired of changing my schedule, my time, thoughts, ideas, keeping a freakin’ smile on my face, and always trying to be the peace keeper!

How the hell can other couples live like this? I’m beginning to get tired of it.