Issues and Discreet Thoughts

I used to think I was fine, but every day I get reminded about why I’m broke and why I can’t buy the things I want. I feel l have a good job. I feel l got normal debts. I’m not crazy in debt; I own a car with $200 payments which I owe $1,200 on, normal $700 rent, $200 utilities, $100 insurance, $50 cell phone, $40 internet, $220 credit card debt(which I’ve paid $50 a month on), $100 house items a month (that includes TP), but i still manage to end up broke by the end of the month.

What the hell?

That’ roughly $1,450 a month, and that’s not including groceries or even my fiancee’s debts. I’ve managed to cut cable, reduce my insurance, gave the dog a diet (sorry buddy), haggle with my car and pay only $178 to finish the car payments, tried the light off thing to reduce utilities, asked the kids to help out with turning off lights, water off when not in use, blah, blah. Still there doesn’t seem like there’s a way to reduce my debt any further unless I sell one of the kids–hmm…ha, just kidding. Kids are all in school now (all 4 of them, yeah I know, tell me about it), so that helps with the lights and stuff at home.

But for a family of 6, come on, it seems like I’m scrapin’ the bottom of this barrel with a dull blade. Not only that, but these little monkey kids are getting bigger and hungrier.

Damn, just the other day, I thought I’d be nice and treat them all to a $1 whopper jr. I look at the bank, $8. K, that’s ok, one for each, we drink water, bamm. It’s like my birthday all over again. They eat their burgers in about 3 minutes (we’re talkin’ 11, 8, 7, 5 years of age here) and start asking for another one. I’m wondering if these guy chewed their food; I hadn’t even finished unwrapping mine. My lady is looking at me as if I’m cheap and tells me, “What? are you thinking about how much money you’re spending.” Well hell yeah, I am. But not about what I’m going to spend now, another $4, but how it’s going to be when all 4 get well into puberty.

Can you imagine when the dynamic four are asking me for $70 designer shoes, $50 jeans, $50 for makeup, $10 toilet paper? Taking the fam costs $40 to go to the movies right now, which I’ve avoided driving certain roads now, but when I don’t get the kid discount, easily $60–and that’s just admission!! They always want soda and popcorn, and that crap ain’t cheap! Another $50 there. Whoa, my head aches just thinkin’ about it. So forget the $4 whopper deal, $400 is a long way to go. About half of my pay check already goes to making sure they’re well, hell, I’ll just make a bumper sticker sign that says, “Hi, I am a serf to my kids” or better yet, “My boss should just direct deposit my check into my kid’s bank accounts ’cause it would make my life easier.”

I better start buying scratch-its.

How To Keep A Business Alive

I’ve been having trouble keeping our business alive. But throughout my grieving, frustration, wondering, and worrying what’s to happen, I’ve learned a couple things that may help other businesses.

The number one rule I’ve learned is that your business is an extension of yourself and the way your business is run is a reflection of yourself.

Your business, whether you like it or not, is your bread and butter. If you’re a full-fledged entrepreneur like me, than you’ve got to realize there’s nothing else that pays the bills than your business. So it’ll take all your time and energy to make it happen. And pretty soon, if you don’t make your business grow, you will become weak.

And if your business is disorganized, that means you are disorganized…and messy too. If your desk is messy, your car probably is too, and your home, your room, your bathroom, everything. There’s trouble when all your messy life bleeds into your business, but it does and your clients begin to notice it.

If this is you, learn from me. My first step is take control of your mess. You made it, you clean it. In chemistry we called it entropy, or randomness. Naturally, things want to be random, or disorganized (think about it, what’s easier, keeping garbage in your car or keeping it clean?)

Take out the trash, practically and metaphorically. Clean, man (woman). Don’t let your life become a mess. And if it does, go ahead, but only for a day. One day only be a pig, but the next day clean it up. Keep your reflection clean.

Rose’s Pics

I took some pics of rose.

One Trip, Long Day

Today my angel went to Portland…by herself! I thought it would be cool to give her a day where she wouldn’t have to worry about the everyday things and simply enjoy some time to herself. I guess it sounded cooler in my head.

She said it was alright. That’s better than nothing, but I wanted her to just have fun, to explore the world, to get lost and come home a refreshed person. She seemed more exhausted than refreshed.

I (tried) took care of her main responsibilities (her jungle team), and did a really good job. I got the zoo animals riding bikes, worked as a team to cook and clean the dishes, and even get along together.

I missed her though, but I was sure she would come home happy to see us.

When she arrived a glowing halo circled her beautiful face as she looked at us and smiled. I was as happy as when she first told me she loved me! Her presence created a sparkle in the room and my world lit up.

I Missed her.

Getting Paid On Time

How do you get someone to pay on time? I’m sure that’s a question that all business owners would like to know. Well here’s the secret…Ready for it? K, here it goes to you…wait, I had an itch on my foot. Ok, I’m ready.

The secret to getting someone to pay on time is to 1)stress to them how important it is in order to receive whatever they want from you they need to have the money ready.

That’s it. It’s called quid pro quo. Latin for ‘this for that.’ If you give them what they want ahead of time, then it’s almost pointless to pay you on time, because they already have what they want…WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT!

This just happened to me. I’ve been doing some Customer Service Training for a client and they usually like to pay me a month or two after I finished my training. That sucks ’cause I have bills to pay, but I spent a great deal of my time training. On top of that, I need to work with my other clients and make additional money just to barely scrap by. Talk about being tough on a business owner.

I’m Up Writing

I’ve been up writing parts of my life. It’s an assignment that I have to do to make me a better writer, but I’m tired now. Really tired. It’s 5:21am. I slept from 2:15am to about 5:00am. Before and after that, it’s been me on this computer writing. I’m so tired now. But I gotta keep writing.

The last time I was up writing this late was in college. I think it was a midterm I was writing on Joe Camel. Yeah, that was it. It was for my Media Law class. Now I’m writing late again. Sucks, I like sleep.

I Am Patient…I Think?

A client of mine called me yesterday to tell me that he admired my work and enjoyed working with me. I was flattered.

He emphasized that I was a patient person.

Err. Great. Heehee.

I’ve been told that I am a patient person and I feel blessed and honored to be. But I believe it comes with a price. Patience is not acquired overnight or is a birthright. We all have to learn to be patient. The problem with patience is that it’s almost synonymous with waiting, and we all hate waiting. We want things now, no waiting, just give it to me.

Patience has to be worked on like everything else we want. It’s like money: we know it’s good for us, we want it, we never have enough of it, and the little we have is spent on the insignificant things that aren’t needed.

But acquiring patience has its rewards. Life becomes a bit simpler.

Whatever that means to you is what you want it to mean. Just know that if you always want things now, realize you won’t always get it and you’ll be more disappointed than if you simply waited.

The downside to being patient is that others can try to trample the patient person. Think about it: if someone is willing to wait, well I’m not, so move aside.

The majority of the population thinks this way. We’re (as a nation) self-centered. We think about ourselves. I didn’t say we think about ourselves first, we just think about ourselves. That’s why we buy gas juggling hummers and expensive diamonds. We don’t care how they came about, who died for it, or what happened. I want it, I’m gonna get it.

So if you want to be a better person, work on thinking for yourself and not what the nation thinks. And if you acquire patience, the nation will believe you are the next ghandi, ’cause they’ve yet to see it.

2 Points

When someone is constantly in a person’s eye (or the public’s eye) in the beginning there is a lot to love about the person. This person may look wonderful, untouchable, glamorous, important, intelligent, etc.–however, once we learn enough about the person, they become seemingly less important. This is the wonderful world of the rich and famous. But bringing this concept close to home, that’s exactly what happens with the loved ones we have around us–ie. our husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends, partners, companions, etc.

In the beginning (sounds like Moses in Genesis) everything is wonderful. Beautifully, simply, wonderful. The love is strongest, each person craves the attention of the other. It’s so strong that all you can think of all day wanting to be with that person.

“That’s why they call it puppy love…” (I was thinkin’ of the song, sorry)

But following the pattern of a “FAD” (described above [something that surrounds our life, 'cause we WANT IT, but only for a short period of time]) that important person in our life begins to take less importance in our life. Don’t confuse that last sentence with “they become less important to us.”

It’s not the person. I bet you that how we feel about the person doesn’t change, but the priority they take in our life does change. It’s simply taking the main priority, stabilizing it in our life, and moving to the next priority. The first priority does not become less important, it’s simply stabilized; other things need to get done.

It’s a difficult concept to swallow, but I’m trying to explain it as easy as I can.

You see, this goes with getting a balance in our lives. It’s a natural process. This can lead to wanting to build new relationships. That’s a good thing (some spouses might not like this, but this is where the trust comes in, remember those damn vows you made?) Relationships like friends and acquiantances begin to be seeked. Again this is natural.

However, trust and respecting that trust are very important. Another key point here is that the first priority should not be forgotten or downsized. These two points are essential for a healthy relationship. I personally believe that this is probably the #2 reason people cheat on their spouse and partner (#1 being lack of communication).

CORRECTION:
I think the #1 reason for cheating is being unhappy with the current relationship. One person wants an adventure or wants to break their routine habits. Wants something and maybe that will bring it. Usually their wrong, but it’s too late.

“Why Is Sleep So Important? I Wish I Didn’t Need It.”

I heard this question today. I laughed while someone was trying to explain the biological reasons why our body needs sleep. I thought to myself, “Wow, if someone really damns sleep that much, they must really be busy. Then I thought,

Why do we clutter our lives so much that we begin to hate the real beauty that life actually has given us? Sleep, love, dreams, laughter, relaxation.

Some people wish they could do everything and not have to sleep. That’s scary.

So my thoughts on this: If you want to live a hectic life with more problems than solutions, get real busy. You’ll begin to hate sleep. But having a good life requires a balance on all things in our life. This includes sleep, love, laughter. I couldn’t say it better than wise ol’ King Solomon, “There is a time and a season for everything…” Relax.

Someone Wanted Their Ass Kicked!

Some dude at the local Circle K wanted to fight me! I wanted to laugh at him! I don’t know who he was (mexican-lookin’, light skinned, scrawny bodied, meth driven, slick black hair wearing stupid ass. I was walking into Circle K, he was walking out, and I opened the door for him (Aww, how polite). He walked through it and pushed me. It was enough to make me lose my balance and touch the floor with my hands. Shocked, I stood up and I see this punk with his hands ready to box an overinflated punching clown. He said, “You look like a push over, lets fight.” I laughed. I thought he was joking. I simply walked around him and he swung at me. I ducked, and pushed this idiot. The clerk yelled and told the guy to get out of the store. He started walking away, didn’t stop saying things to me, and called me a push over, again.

I was mad. This begged the question, am I a push over? Simple answer. No. Easy to push while not paying attention to an idiot, maybe. But a push over? Ha.